THE NEW MARIONETTE RECORDS CD COMPILATION SONIC INTIFADA IS ON A CRASH COURSE TRAJECTORY FOR EARTH. WE'RE NOT SURE WHERE IT CAME FROM BUT WE THINK IT ORIGINATED IN THE KUIPER BELT. REGARDLESS, THERE IS NO FORCE ON EARTH, NOT EVEN THE COMBINED POWER OF THE UN MEMBER STATE'S NUCLEAR ARSENAL THAT CAN STOP THIS THING. THE BEST THING THAT YOU AND YOUR FAMILY CAN DO RIGHT NOW IS DIG OUT A SMALL ANDERSON SHELTER IN YOUR BACK GARDEN, AQUIRE SOME SUITABLE EAR PROTECTION AND WELCOME THIS HEAVENLY BODY WITH OPEN ARMS.
ONE THING WE DO KNOW IS THAT THIS IMPENDING CELESTIAL IMPACT WAS INSTIGATED DELIBERATELY BY INTELLIGENT BEINGS FROM ANOTHER WORLD. OUR INTELLIGENCE IS SKETCHY, BUT WE KNOW THAT WHEN THIS BITCH ENTERS OUR ATMOSPHERE THERE WILL BE A NUMBER OF DIGITAL WAR CRIMINALS RIDING IT'S ICY TAIL, LIKE ZORRO ON CRACK. SOME OF THE KNOWN ASSAILANTS BEHIND THIS OMINOUS CATASTROPHE INCLUDE DJ DONNA SUMMER, THE TEKNOIST, TAPAGE, RAASKALBOMFUKKERZ AND ERASERHEAD, WHOSE WRETCHED CONTEMPT FOR HUMANITY KNOWS NO BOUNDS.
